DOTS: I-405 Traffic Edition

"Dukie - Jalopnik Emergency Management Asshole" (Dukie)
08/02/2013 at 15:47 • Filed to: DOTS

Saw this guy after dropping off my hedgie yesterday at the vet (he, unfortunately had to have an eye removed).

"stanced" on stretched Porsche Turbo Twists.

DISCUSSION (21)

AddMustard > Dukie - Jalopnik Emergency Management Asshole
08/02/2013 at 15:48

Kinja'd!!!

RamblinRover Luxury-Yacht > Dukie - Jalopnik Emergency Management Asshole
08/02/2013 at 15:49

Recommended: one eyepatch for the hedgie, and two for you for when stancing finally makes you stab yourself in the eyes.

AddMustard > RamblinRover Luxury-Yacht
08/02/2013 at 15:52

Stancing=lowered??? It's not cambered to hell, they probably needed to roll the fenders though, but is this stanced? I don't get it. This is just a lowered vehicle. If that's bad then I'm a villain

AddMustard > Dukie - Jalopnik Emergency Management Asshole
08/02/2013 at 15:52

Washington I see you.

Takuro Spirit > AddMustard
08/02/2013 at 15:53

It takes a Jaaaaaaaaaaag to stance a Jaaaaaaaaaaag.

KusabiSensei - Captain of the Toronto Maple Leafs > Dukie - Jalopnik Emergency Management Asshole
08/02/2013 at 15:54

I've already met my quota for posting GLaDOS "Nononononononono" today. So I'm going to skip right over that:

*Actual Post Starts Here*

Sorry to hear about your hedgehog.

#PetsArePeopleToo

$kaycog > Dukie - Jalopnik Emergency Management Asshole
08/02/2013 at 15:55

Poor little guy. I hope surgery went well.

Dukie - Jalopnik Emergency Management Asshole > $kaycog
08/02/2013 at 15:58

It did. He had to spend the night at the vet, but I should be picking him up shortly. Many compliments from the vet on how social he is. They've told me that they very rarely see a hedgehog who allows them to actually perform an exam without balling up.

MonkeePuzzle > Dukie - Jalopnik Emergency Management Asshole
08/02/2013 at 15:59

umm, I like it, a LOT. Ok the lowered Jag is nice, the wheel fitment is slightly off, but lowered is good and plus the rack on top.

Paul, Man of Mustangs > AddMustard
08/02/2013 at 16:01

Cambered takes it to Hellaflush. Stanced typically does mean lowered with non-stock wheels and some stretching of tires. The problem is with the stretching. It damages the tire and greatly increases the chances that it will lose air pressure. Also, it just wastes wheel width.

Edit: Also, no amount of fender rolling will solve clearance issues for going over bumps. That wheel/tire will hit the fender.

AddMustard > Paul, Man of Mustangs
08/02/2013 at 16:05

So the beef is with the stretched tires, which I think looks stupid but I never assumed it was part of stance. I'm not up on the lingo, apparently, and I'm relatively young and hang out with that crowd and follow stancenation on Instagram.... I don't get it. I'm looking at it as a lowered Jag with a poor choice of rubber. Maybe he's a cheap skate? (I mean, obviously he is, it's an x-type) thinner tires are cheaper! But ignoring the rubber, it's not awful, imo.

TheOnelectronic > Dukie - Jalopnik Emergency Management Asshole
08/02/2013 at 16:07

Poor little hedgehog!

Not to make light, but you totally need to get him a tiny little jolly roger eye-patch.

Paul, Man of Mustangs > AddMustard
08/02/2013 at 16:09

A lowered Jag is cool, because it's someone willing to put effort into making their ride better, and not many people choose Jags. It's just making the car less reliable/more prone to catastrophic failure without any really appreciable improvement in looks or performance that gets on most people's nerves.

$kaycog > Dukie - Jalopnik Emergency Management Asshole
08/02/2013 at 16:14

He sounds like a very sweet pet.

twinturbobmw > Dukie - Jalopnik Emergency Management Asshole
08/02/2013 at 16:14

Can we have pics when he's back home?

Dukie - Jalopnik Emergency Management Asshole > twinturbobmw
08/02/2013 at 16:18

Of course! I pick him up at 4pm (vet called right after I replied to $kay).

Dukie - Jalopnik Emergency Management Asshole > $kaycog
08/02/2013 at 16:18

He is. When he's not peeing on you, he prefers to climb your shirt and snuggle up on your neck with his nose in your ear.

Dukie - Jalopnik Emergency Management Asshole > AddMustard
08/02/2013 at 16:19

The tires didn't meet the wheel lip. That's the only issue I have with the car.

$kaycog > Dukie - Jalopnik Emergency Management Asshole
08/02/2013 at 16:29

Daww!

Burrito de EJ25 > Dukie - Jalopnik Emergency Management Asshole
08/02/2013 at 18:00

I thought hedgehogs were illegal in California.

Dukie - Jalopnik Emergency Management Asshole > Burrito de EJ25
08/02/2013 at 18:04

I dunno, unless you're thinking ferrets. I live near Seattle though so it doesn't matter.